You can't not THX/1138!

Captain's Log. Unidate THX 1138.

Currently, the HMS Upskirt is awaiting the resupply ship the RS Fat-Bottomed-Girls in orbit around the planet I have named Bicycle due to its curious equatorial storms.

In a recent unfortunate encounter we were forced to jettison three quarters of our science into the middle of a Hive Collective fleet that was giving Captain Horation TrouserSnake a spot of bother.

Indeed, the whole system is somewhat curious being a pink main sequence and blue super-giant binary star where all planets are trapped in a circular orbit around the center of mass. Doctor Firm-Posterior has named the stars Yoni and Lingam for some reason but as she never gets out, I think it is fair to let her name a new system every once in a while. Having only two real planets and eighteen gas giants this system is classified as a Type IV curio and I have claimed it for The Manliance.

A number of away teams are exploring the planey below, searching for intelligent life. While the Science Officer insists that the atmosphere is hallucingenic, none of the teams have reported any ill effects.

Doctor Firm-Posterior says that the horrible side effects of the Space Rabies booster shot will wear off any day now and I am quite looking forward to seeing the flying pink elephants that the away teams are reporting. According to her nurses, one of the away teams composed entirely of red shirts swears they saw land sharks shortly before they went off air.

Ensign Lovelyjugs has been tracked to a errant wormhole and appears to have been blown through it. On our return to Cosmogalactibase I plan to have stern words with the ship designers who thought it was a good idea to put warp drives on lifeboats.