Hard though it may be for some of his most dedicated fans to believe, but Captain Seymour DickLogic was once a red shirt.

Legend, for all the records were destroyed when the Hive Collective bombarded the cosmogalactistarbase with the Oestrogenic Torpedoes in the Year of The Stomping Wombat, that he served on the USS BigBottom under Captain Chalice Crotch.

Even as a red shirt he was already chiselling himself for manly perfection success. Collecting medals for bravery, masculinity, and masculine bravery like they were going out of fashion. Indeed, some of them did, becoming super rare collectors items. Before going to the officer school on planet Forklift-Booty, he had acquired some five layers of fruit vomit. Including but not limited to such ignoble awards as:

• Surviving one away team. (Now discontinued.)
• Surviving two away teams.
• Sole survivor of any away team.
• Surviving ten away teams. (a.k.a. the brass balloon award.)
• Not being killed for three whole episodes.
• Season Survivor. (a.k.a. Lucky Sod award.)
• Visiting every brothel on Space Dive 68.
• Bravely impregnating over thirty women on planet F***!
• Surviving for over a sidereal year in the misery belts of Noskirtsherewerespaceminers.
• Fire Everything award for outstanding destruction.
• And ... Never skipping his Space Rabies shots.

These are, of course, very difficult to prove due to the first season being out of print