Nurse! More Nyborg!

And it is here in the Steam Rooms of spaceships that we find the last of the true space nurses frolicking and gambolling amongst the fluted columns and rotating machinery of their ancient ancestral home.

The Steam Room! A place of unimaginable power and throbby things, delightfully decorated with Victorian wrought ironwork because it helps to absorb stray particles.

Here they don't just split the atom as much as rip its electrons off and beat it to death with them. Fortunately medical art in C24.5 is amazing.

Feast your eyes on the Mighty compound manspreader drives that thrust the HMS Upskirt along in normal space.

Behold the Quasimodo Quantim Power Supply that can charge four thousand smartphones (yes they still have them and by golly they are smart) in one second without vapourizing them! Such power! Much finesse! Wow Plasma! Just one of these can power every single knob laser at the same time. The HMS Upskirt has four.

The Beautiful Mahogany Machine! No one knows quite what it does but it is essential and very expensive. It used to be purple, but those were never as lucky as the wooden ones.

The Inverse Retro-cabulated Subduction Goolinator that promulgates unthinkable energies from ham sandwiches to power the glorious HMS Upskirt as it dives into the Sub-Aether!

Of course, no tour of the steam room would be complete without the enormous Subspace steam engines (diesels on more modern ships) as the Manspreader drive only works when it can get a grip on the firmament and in subspace, there is only Zuul. No wait, subspace is a frictionless dimensionally inverted region which converts depth to distance and colour to time, which is bluish for some reason. The deeper you dive the further and faster you travel. The HMS Upskirt drives are tuned beyond mere hyper-perfection and typically run one millibar below the instantaneous glory limit.

And last but by no means least, the engineers that keep it all working. The Engine Room Nurses.

Many a new recruit and fresh faced redskirt has wondered, why are they called that, it's actually on page ZZ9 of their training spool...

A long time ago in a ship far far away, hopefully destroyed by now, the plumbers union went on strike demanding more pay and more respect, just like engineers had.

Real, trained and qualified engineers were aghast at this level of stupid and the Starship Engineers Union declared that if plumbers were going to be water-fixture engineers, then they would be nurses.

When all the equality and stupid finally calmed down, everyone who thought they deserved to be engineers were engineers. There were Automotive Engineers who made sure your self-driving car had the right number of wheels, Agricultural Engineers who grew stuff and Textile Weaving Engineers who knitted. And All Engineers were Equal.

The disaster came when an Engineer tried to adjust the turboencabulator of a brand new cockship undergoing pressure tests in orbit. No one had ever destroyed half a planet before. After that, water fixture engineers were hunted to extinction.

It turned out that All Engineers were not equal. Some were more equal than others.

HMS Upskirt's steam room is under the command of the formidable chief of engineering (small e) Matron Copperbottom and her nurses, including the remarkable Nurse Corblimey! Who is the only crew member with an exclamation mark in her name and holds the distinction of being 115% cyborg.