Captain Seymour Dicklogic and the Grammer Nazi's of Delta Kappa Thighs!

Previously, the good ship HMS Upskirt was on it's way to Delta Kappa Thigh base to restock on redskirts and GBH whoever it was that thought it's should have an apostrophe.

"Captain Seymour Dicklogic and the Grammer Nazi's of Delta Kappa Thighs!" In Technicolor too!

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The pilot had sunglasses on, they had a little switch that would filter out Azure Hue. It also made Communications Officer Second Class Slime Dispenser's uniform transparent, this was an unwelcome side effect. "Delta Kappa Thighs base on screen now, Captain."

Captain Seymour Dicklogic furrowed his brow and glared angrily with his steely blue eyes. Then he moved Doctor Firm-Posterior's hands and admired the amazing architecture of the base. "Fire your base architect."

Mistress-at-arms Tiffany Bangbangbangbangkaboom looked say, "I do not believe he would fit in the research probe launchers, sir."

"What happens when the audience notices?" The Science Officer was busy covering all his sensors with thick black shagpile to reduce the azure hue false alarms.

Doctor Firm-Posterior shrugged, "Our audience? Even if you tell them it looks exactly like a ____________ and the main ________ is the ___________ and the ______ ______ _____! they won't understand. Many of them wouldn't even know what to so with our favourite communications plaything Slime Dispenser even with the Haynes' Manual."

"It looks a bit battered." The First Officer moped, indeed, it was in a bad way, "is the screen defocussed?"

"Battered base syndrome. It never really recovered from the Hive Collective ramming a stratocaster into it at standard by two in the previous series." The doctor offered to help the Science officer and the communications officer with the Shagpile versus azure hue problem. She had a staple-gun she used for patching up the Engine Room Nurses. It worked wonders.

Captain Seymour Dicklogic frowned manfully, "it looks like the back end of a wildebeest." He glanced at the teleprompter, "Pilot, take us in."

"Fnarr, fnarr." The pilot took the handbrake off and let HMS Upskirt roll slowly forward. "Actually, The Upskirt is too large for their dock. They can only accommodate up to Double-Wiener class."

"Why did we ever come here?" Captain Seymour Dicklogic demanded. He looked at the First Officer for answers, answering stupid questions was his job. That and looking good wearing only coconuts and a feather boa.

"Plot device." The first officer reported after glancing at his script. He was using it to beat the feather boa senseless and was making steady progress.

"Mistress-at-arms, how many script writers will fit in the research probe launchers?"

"All of them, sir."

"Make it so."

"SIR! YES SIR!" Everyone chorused. "With pleasure Captain." She beamed. Indeed, everyone pitched in. Pleasure helped in subduing the feather boa before joining in the fun.

"Pilot, next episode please."

"Yes, captain." The pilot had made the mistake of glancing at the captain with the azure hue filter on. No wonder Doctor Firm Posterior was ________ with all her ________ _____ __!!